What happens in vagal stays in vagal

The music of Alanis Morissette has always meant so much to me. Her CD Jagged Little Pill was a staple when I was 11 years old, and throughout my formative years. I even saw her perform at Jingle Ball with my buddies. Now that I'm an adult lady, Morissette's messaging resonates even more. Not only do I still love belting out her hits--and even some of her lesser known songs--I now know about the person behind the music. I've listened to Morissette on podcasts, and dug around the internet a bit researching her. She's a Highly Sensitive Person, just like me. She dabbles in parts work, just like me. I feel deeply connected to her.

I saw Morissette perform at Sound on the Sound Music Festival (now defunct) a couple years ago. I hate music festivals, but I couldn't miss Morissette performing right in my backyard here in Connecticut. I was excited to see her, but I didn't anticipate my reaction. I sobbed from start to finish of the performance. I was so overcome with emotion, including love for Morissette, and for the little 11 year old me who listened to her music decades ago. It was a wild experience.

Fast forward to this fall when I made plans to see Morissette perform again. She had a residency in Las Vegas, of all places. Similar to music festivals, I hate Vegas. It's so overwhelming, especially for us HSP's. Why on earth would Morissette perform there, I wondered. But I wanted to see her again. So I warned my friends about the waterworks, and we made a (quick) weekend of it.

This time, I didn't bawl. I was very much in the moment, enjoying. Morissette came onstage and I felt so much love. Despite the lackluster audience (Vegas is weird!) I was able to focus on the performance, and sing at the top of my lungs and dance along with my friends. (One friend, I should note, who has known me since before Jagged Little Pill debuted) During the show I didn't leave my perch to pee or do anything else at all. I didn't want to miss a minute.

The show vibe was unexpected. It was not a typical concert. Morissette spent much of the performance presenting on what it means to be a Highly Sensitive Person. She even used a whiteboard! Most of the audience members seemed confused. I was elated. I felt seen. "Why Vegas?," I kept wondering. Vegas is kryptonite for us HSPs. Perhaps Morissette wants to educate the very people who aren't HSPs, the ones attracted to Vegas. The people who don't mind the ubiquitous slot machines, cigarette smoke, bright lights, etc. My nightmare.

And yet. It was so worth it. I'm glad I braved the casino lobbies, second hand smoke stinging my eyes, midnight dinners etc, to get to experience Morissette in all her glory, and to have time with girlfriends who get me. It was so worth it to carve out time for connection, nostalgia, new memories and fun. Despite the stimulation, it was so special.

AES

P.S. I told Hubs I'd like to walk down the aisle to Head Over Feet, so we might just need to renew our vows. Anywhere but Vegas :)